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Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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So, I finally get the chainsaw going. Thank the tree gods! I’m cutting away, and suddenly, I hear a loud crash. I look up, and a branch from the oak falls right next to me. I jump back like I’m dodging a bullet. My heart’s racing. I’m like, “Dude, that was close!”

GAA's Rob Hennelly and wife Orla discover sweet family link to new home