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Hey, how you doin’? So, escort, huh? Man, babysittin’ kids is one thing, but escort? That’s a whole ‘nother gig! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout it like, whoa, fancy cars, shady deals, right? Kinda like in “A Separation” – you know, my fave flick – where Simin’s all, “I’d rather not live like this,” and I’m sittin’ here wonderin’ if escorts feel that too. Like, are they stuck? Happy? Pissed off?

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of the Falls Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—coffee so strong it could wake the dead. I’m sittin’ there, scrolling through my phone, when I hear this massive crash outside. I’m like, “What now?”

Restaurant that delivers to Bray told to close after ‘extensive and widespread rodent infestation’ found