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About Cork

Back in the day—little known fact—people fucked without apps. Wild, right? Met at pubs, shagged in alleys. Now? You’re judgin’ dick pics like it’s MasterChef. “This one’s raw, you donkey!” I tried it once—sex-dating, not the dick pics. Bird said she’s “adventurous.” Turns up, wants missionary and a cuppa. Fuckin’ hell, I nearly threw my phone! “Where’s the evolution in that?!” Samantha’d say. She’d spice shit up, not bore me to death.

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Then, BAM! I bump into this dude. Total stranger. He spills his coffee all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, really?” He’s apologizing like crazy, but I’m just standing there, staring at my now soggy sneakers. Ugh! I mean, they were fresh! I was fuming, but then he cracks a joke about my “fashion statement.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, who knew a coffee spill could lead to a new friend?

Kelly hails her ‘history makers’ after Terenure defend FAI women’s cup