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Fun fact – back in Soviet days, prostitution was “banned,” but nah, it thrived underground. Girls’d hide in plain sight, posin as waitresses. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me when I heard that. Anyway, this chick – let’s call her Natasha – she’s got sass. I’m all, “Ruh-roh, she’s trouble!” She winks, says, “500 rubles, big boy.” I’m laughin – me, a dog, payin? Scoob don’t roll that way.

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So, I’m chugging my drink, and I head out. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I stroll down Terenure Park, and it’s packed. Families, dogs, kids running wild. I’m dodging strollers like I’m in some kind of obstacle course.

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