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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute—it’s a trek, dodgy as hell. You gotta know the signals, the corners, the whispers. Pro tip: cash up front, no faffing, and don’t be a dick—treat ‘em human. I’m ramblin’ now, but fuck it, it’s like climbin’ a peak—thrillin’, sketchy, leaves ya wonderin’ why you bothered. “To live is to suffer,” Del Toro’d say—damn right, specially here. Me, I’m back to my mountains tomorrow—cleaner mess up there.
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First stop, Main Street. It’s buzzing, like always. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I heard someone say “What’s the craic?” I’d be rich. Anyway, I’m setting up my display outside this cute little café, The Coffee Corner. Best scones in town, no joke. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my merch is its personal toilet. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude? You couldn’t find a tree?”
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