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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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But then, the sun comes out. Like, outta nowhere. It’s shining on the park, and I see families having picnics. Kids are laughing, and I’m like, “Aww, this is nice.” I take a deep breath, and suddenly, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

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