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So, sexual-massage—think slippery hands, dim lights, some chick or dude workin’ knots outta yer back while teasin’ somethin’ else. It’s legit therapy, sure, but with a naughty twist. I got into it years back—Wall Street stress, ya know? Needed to unwind. Found this underground joint in NYC, cash only, no questions. Girl’s hands were magic, like she knew every nerve endin’. Made me happy as hell—tension gone, blood pumpin’! But then—boom—anger hit. She stopped right at the edge, smirkin’, like, “Pay extra, big shot.” Greed, man, hers and mine, clashin’!

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Just then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Dave. He’s like, “Let’s hit the pub later!” I’m in! I mean, who doesn’t love a good pint at The Booterstown Inn? It’s got that cozy vibe, and the staff? Super friendly.

Death Notice of ANNE McMAHON (née McDERMOTT) (Booterstown, Dublin)