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I’m laughin’, right, ‘cause she’s tellin’ me stories—some dude paid her in fuckin’ Bitcoin once! Who does that? Fuckin’ nerds, man, surprised the shit outta me. Made me happy, though, hearin’ her cackle, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. “Gabagool? Ova here!” I yell, just to fuck with her. She don’t get it, but she smirks.

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And then, the craziest thing happens. I’m sitting there, enjoying my scone, when this old lady comes in. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping cart full of... I dunno, random stuff? She starts chatting me up about the “good ol’ days” in Bray. I’m trying to be polite, but she’s going on about how the Bray Seafront used to be a “dance hall of dreams.” I’m like, “Lady, I just want my scone!”

Two men, teen charged in connection with Bray man's death