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About Cork

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—findin’ a prostitute? Man, what a trip that’d be! I’m Tina Fey, baby, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Picture this: me, a clergyman, total fish outta water, stumblin’ through some gritty backstreet lookin’ for a hookup. Not ‘cause I’m holy or judgy—nah, I’m just tryna *understand*, ya know? Like in *The New World*, where Pocahontas says, “Mother, where do you live?”—I’m askin’ the universe, “Yo, where’s the action at?”

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of the main street. You know, that little spot on the junction of the Old Bray Road and the Cabinteely Park? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—coffee, black, no sugar. But guess what? They messed it up! Like, how hard is it to get a simple order right? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I just rolled my eyes and took the latte instead. Whatever, right?

Death Notice of Peter (Ginger) LYNCH (Cabinteely, Dublin)