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Argh! I’m ready! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Me, SpongeBob, hyper little sea sponge, divin’ into this wild topic! Favorite flick’s “Only Lovers Left Alive,” that moody vampire vibe, ya know? Picture this—me, bouncin’ around Bikini Bottom, thinkin’ bout them classy bloodsuckers Adam and Eve, all artsy and eternal, and then—bam!—prostitute huntin’ pops in me head! “This is not some common stuff,” like Adam’d say, all broody.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down by the Carrigaline River. It’s pretty chill, but then I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I almost laughed, but then I saw his face. Oof. Poor kid.

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