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I’m hyped, tho—curiosity’s my fuel. What’s the vibe? How’s it work? So I dig deeper, find this chick’s profile—prolly fake pics, but who cares? “I move like a phantom,” Carlos’d say, and I’m feelin’ that, sneakin’ thru digital alleys. Hit her up, she’s all, “Cash upfront, no crypto, weirdo.” Pissed me off—c’mon, blockchain’s the future! But also, lol, fair—she’s not here for my TED Talk.

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Suddenly, this random dog runs up to us. It’s got mud all over it. I’m talking full-on mud monster. It jumps on Liam, and he’s freaking out. “Get it off me!” I’m dying laughing. The dog’s just happy, wagging its tail like it’s the best day ever.

Death Notice of Gabrielle (Gay) O'Hara (Crumlin, Dublin)