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Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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But just when I thought the day was winding down, I saw a little girl struggling to stay afloat. My heart dropped. I jumped in without thinking. The water was freezing, but I didn’t care. I reached her just in time. “I got you!” I said, pulling her to safety. Her parents were freaking out, but she was just giggling. Kids, man.

Famous actor and CNN host attend Dalkey Book Festival 2024