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Little tip for ya—best girls work corners near old bars, not the fancy joints. Learned that the hard way. Once got catfished by some chick in heels—turned out she was a dude! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I yelled, stormin’ off. Hilarious now, but I was pissed then. Tonight tho, it’s smooth—cash handed over, quick and dirty, no fuss. “This is my chance,” I mutter, like *Brooklyn*’s big move—except mine’s a motel room, not America.

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But then, I bumped into my old mate, Sean. We haven’t seen each other in ages. He’s all like, “You still doing that linguist thing?” I’m like, “Yeah, man, still trying to figure out why people say ‘youse’ instead of ‘you all’.” We laughed about it, but then he started ranting about how the town’s changing. Gentrification, blah blah blah. I get it, but c’mon, it’s still Droichead-Nua!

80 years ago: Nazi warplanes over Newbridge as bombs hit Ballymany