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Then – plot twist, yeah? Down an alley, this old bird, prolly 50, winks at me. “I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe,” she croaks, like she’s in the movie too. I’m curious, precious, so I bite. She’s got stories – says she once banged a mayor! Swears it’s true, wild shit. I’m crackin up, thinkin, “This is gold!” Costs less too – bargain! We loves it! “Let’s keep this between us,” I whisper, all sly, like Bob sneakin round Tokyo.

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We grab some fish and chips from the famous chippy on the seafront. I mean, you can’t go wrong with that! I’m stuffing my face, and Sarah’s telling me about her latest dating disaster. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke on a chip.

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