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Heya, pal, so findin’ a prostitute, huh? D’oh! Like, where do ya even start? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Mad Max: Fury Road” – man, that movie’s wild! “What a day, what a lovely day!” I yell that sometimes, ya know, when I’m pumped. Anyway, prostitutes – tricky biz, right? Gotta be sneaky, like Max dodgin’ them war boys.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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First off, I head to the Dundrum Town Centre. It’s like the mecca of shopping, right? I’m thinking I’ll grab a coffee at Insomnia. I mean, who doesn’t love a caffeine fix? But nooo, the line is out the door! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this dude in front of me is just chatting away about his “life-changing” smoothie diet. Like, bro, I just want my coffee, not a TED talk on kale!

Calls made for IPAS contract at Dundrum House Hotel to be withdrawn following significant planning breaches