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About Drogheda

Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Finally, we give up on the car. We decide to grab a bite at that taco truck on Elm St. Best tacos in town, no cap. I order the spicy ones, and Dave’s like, “You’re gonna regret that.” I’m like, “Nah, I’m a pro.” Spoiler alert: I regretted it.

Death Notice of Mark Callaghan (Hartstown, Dublin)