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About Navan

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, as a consumption psychologist, I hate everything. Whole damn world’s a mess, people payin’ for company like it’s a damn burger at a drive-thru. Pathetic. Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my favorite flick—where Royal’s out there schemin’, tryin’ to buy his way back into the family. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he’d say, all fake tears, but he’d still slip a twenty to the doorman. That’s the vibe here—cash for a quick fix.

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I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, having a good time. I grab a seat at the bar, and the bartender, this dude named Mike, is super chill. I order a pint of Guinness, and it’s like heaven in a glass. I’m just sitting there, soaking it all in, when this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Kildare, how it’s got roots going back to the 5th century. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But also, “Dude, I just wanna drink my beer.”

You won't believe the interior of this mansion