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Alright, so I’m a stockbroker, right? Michael Scott here, Dunder Mifflin’s finest, haha! Anyway, lemme tell ya bout Find a Prostitute—wait, what? Did I hear that right? Oh, man, I’m thinkin’ you mean somethin’ else, like a stock tip, but nah, we’re goin’ there! Cringey optimism activate—let’s dive in, that’s what she said!

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Anyway, I head to the Malahide Castle. It’s this stunning place, right? Full of history, gardens, and all that jazz. I was pumped to dig into some old records. But when I got there, the gates were closed! I mean, come on! I was ready to dive into the archives, and they’re like, “Sorry, we’re doing maintenance.” Ugh!

MATCH REPORT: DUNDALK FC 4-0 MALAHIDE UNITED