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About Cork

Oi mate, so I’m a detective, yeah? Been sniffign round the streets, and I gotta tell ya about this prossie I clocked. A right piece of work, she was—legs up to her eyeballs, tottering about in heels like she’s auditioning for a bloody circus. Reminds me of *The Pianist*, that flick I love—y’know, Polanski’s 2002 gem. Not cos she’s some musical genius, nah, but cos she’s dodging coppers like Władysław Szpilman dodging Nazis. “I’m not going anywhere!” she’d screech, like she’s quoting the film, but nah, just drunk and lippy.

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First stop, I’m meeting this newbie, Jamie, at the corner of Main St. and Mill Rd. I’m thinkin’, “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” But Jamie? Oh boy. They show up late, and I’m just standing there, lookin’ like a lost tourist. Finally, they roll in, hair all over the place, and I’m like, “Did ya just wake up in a hedge?”

Tributes paid after Cork and Midleton legend Ger Fitzgerald passes away aged 60