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But—ugh—pisses me off when creeps judge ‘em. Like, “She’s trash!” Screw that noise! They’re gleaners, too—pickin’ up what’s left, makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’. Varda’d get it—she said, “I film what’s overlooked.” That’s them, overlooked as fuck! I’d be screamin’, “Give ‘em respect, ya jerks!” if I wasn’t, y’know, a ghost or whatever.

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Then, I get a call from a lady on Monkstown Road. She’s frantic, right? “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a fireman!” But I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for cats. So, I tell her to grab some tuna. Cats love that stuff. She’s all grateful, and I’m like, “Just doing my job!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do I care so much about a cat?”

Death Notice of Timothy Patrick (Ted) Downey (Monkstown, Dublin)