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Anyways, I’m laughin’ now, but then? Pissed me off she yelled. Thought we were pals! “Is ketchup a vegetable?” I mumbled, walkin’ away. Sarcasm’s my shield, buddy. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy when you’re me—too goofy, too loud. Next time, I’m bringin’ cash, not splinters! What a day, huh?

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Started off chillin’ at the coffee shop on Main Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “Bean There, Done That.” Hah! I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just coffee and foam! I was like, “C’mon, I’m not asking for a unicorn latte here!” But whatever, I took it and just rolled with it.

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