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Lemme tell ya, it’s a mess out there. Saw this gal once, heels clickin’ like gunshots, skirt shorter than a possum’s temper. Reminded me of Sara Goldfarb, chasin’ that high, y’know? “I’m gonna be on television!” she’d say—well, this gal’s dreamin’ of somethin’, but it ain’t a TV screen. Made me sad, y’all. Sad as a hound dog with no bone. But mad too—why’s the world gotta chew folks up like that?

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After that, I decided to stroll down Church Street. It’s such a vibe, man. The shops, the people, the whole scene. I popped into this little thrift store. Found the most ridiculous Hawaiian shirt. I mean, it was bright enough to blind someone! I had to get it. I thought, “This’ll be perfect for my next dive trip.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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