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About Dundalk

Alright, so I’m Dr. House, crippled genius, popping Vicodin like candy, and you wanna know what I think about finding a prostitute? Everybody lies, right? Let’s dive into this mess. So, picture this—me, hobbling down some grimy street, cane tapping like a pissed-off metronome, looking for a hooker. Why? ‘Cause I’m bored, and emotions are a circus I’d rather dissect than ride. Like in *Inside Out*, Joy’s all “Let’s make this fun!” while Sadness is moping, “This is pathetic.” Both are right.

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Then I hit up the Portlaoise Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, right? I’m diving into the pool, and it’s packed. Kids everywhere, splashing like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to do my thing, but these little rascals are like mini torpedoes. I almost got taken out by a cannonball! I was like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!”

Leinster quarter-final place on the line as Laois minor hurlers welcome Offaly to Portlaoise