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About Cork

Hiii, oh my Gawd, so listen – nasally whine kickin’ in – I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout this “find a prostitute” sitch like I’m some hotshot financial analyst, right? Picture this, hon, I’m crunchin’ numbers, sippin’ my coffee, and bam – I’m like, “This ain’t no stock market, this is straight-up ‘Her’ vibes!” You know, that movie where Joaquin’s all googly-eyed over his phone babe? Hahaaa, that Nanny laugh’s comin’ out, I can’t help it!

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As the sun started to set, I made my way to the River Barrow. It’s so peaceful there. I love just sitting by the water, watching the world go by. I took a deep breath, and for a moment, everything felt right. But then, I saw a swan. This thing was huge! It looked like it was ready to take me on. I swear, I thought it was gonna attack! I backed away slowly, trying not to make eye contact.

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