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About Waterford

I’m dodgin’ coppers, too—can’t have M bollockin’ me for this. Little fact: in Amsterdam, it’s all legal, red lights glowin’ like a bleedin’ Christmas tree. Here? It’s a gamble, mate. I’m thinkin’, *Christ, imagine if Q rigged me a prossie-finder gadget*. I’d be sorted! Anyway, this one bird, she’s whisperin’ sweet nothins’, and I’m half tempted to take her back to the Aston Martin—classy, yeah? “Let go of attachment,” the film says, but sod that—I’m attached already!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, the sky just opened up. I’m sprinting down the streets, dodging puddles on Seabury Road. I’m soaked, and I’m cursing the weather like it’s personal. “Why, Portmarnock, why?” I shout, and people are looking at me like I’m nuts.

Death Notice of David Cavendish Rea (Portmarnock, Dublin)