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Got mad tho—some jerk tried overchargin’ me, talkin’ “premium service.” Premium my ass! I’m Beyoncé, I don’t overpay for nothin’! Told him, “Boy, bye!”—straight up. Happiest moment? Found this sassy chick, all confidence, remindin’ me of Lil’ Zé’s crew but with heels. She knew her worth—charged fair, no games. Surprised me too—did you know some pros use encrypted apps now? Tech-savvy queens, slayin’ the game!

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First off, I’m late. Classic me. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some twisted video game. You know how it is. The smell of fresh coffee from the local café hits me. I’m like, “Dude, I need that!” But nah, no time. Gotta get to the shop.

Death Notice of Dr. Donal Cotter (Rathmines, Dublin)