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Chatted her up—*nudge nudge*—she says, “Been at it since 16.” Sixteen! Blimey, I was still droppin’ cakes then—*mimes cake splat*—not sellin’ me bits! She’s got stories—punters who cry, some who tip with fags. Fags! Not cash—*rolls eyes*—cheap bastards. “I’ve seen worse,” she shrugs, tough as Huppert facin’ rebels. “We’re still here,” movie vibes, yeah?

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After that chaos, we hit the scenic route along the coast. Man, Wicklow’s coastline is stunning! The cliffs, the ocean, the whole vibe. I’m feeling good, thinking, “This is why I love this job.” But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, buckets! I’m talking about a full-on monsoon. My student’s eyes go wide, and I’m just trying to keep it together. “Just breathe, buddy! It’s not the end of the world!”

This low-key Wicklow cheesemaker is quietly producing the best cheddar in the world