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About Jerusalem

So, erotic-massage—overpriced back rubs with a fancy name. I mean, sure, it’s been around forever. Ancient Greeks did it, called it “anatripsis.” Slaves oiled up their masters, kneadin’ muscles like dough. Sounds like a waste of good olive oil to me. I’d rather grill a steak than let some stranger paw me for 50 bucks. “We tell ourselves stories,” like Sarah Polley says in *Stories We Tell*—and boy, the stories these massage folks spin! “Relaxation,” they say. Ha! More like awkward silence while some hippy hums and dims the lights.

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So, I finally make it to the office, and my boss is all stressed. “Where’s the report?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” I sit down, and my computer decides to freeze. Classic. I’m staring at the screen like it owes me money.

Jordanians hail Abu Ghaush’s gold medal win on social media