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Ya wanna know the best part? The hunt—trackin’ ‘em, feelin’ that pulse. Makes me happy, giddy even—like a kid with a new toy. But the stench—cologne and desperation—fuckin’ chokes ya sometimes. Worse than a morgue. Still, I’d do it again—maybe tonight. “A census taker once tried to test me,” but a prossie? She knows the game, plays it dirty. That’s my style—grubby, messy, fuckin’ glorious. Whaddya say, pal—wanna join the feast?

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of oranges. It’s like a citrus massacre. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face is priceless. He’s trying to pick them up, but it’s like watching a bad slapstick comedy. I mean, come on, it’s just oranges, right?

Roman soldiers' 1,600-year-old oil lamp found by high schooler in Israel