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But – hold on. Sometimes? It’s a MESS. Oil everywhere. Once – this chick – mid-massage – slips OFF the table! BAM. Floor. I’m laughin’ – she’s PISSED. “Asshole!” she yells. I’m like – “Baby, I’m Christopher FUCKIN’ Walken!” – nah, I didn’t say that. Thought it tho. Made me happy – chaos! Like – Aronofsky’s junkies. Messy. Real. “We got a WINNER here!” – that’s me, screamin’ inside.

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Finally, I get home, and my mom’s already cooking. The smell of schnitzel fills the air. I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can forgive her.” We sit down, and she starts asking about my day. I tell her about the snake spell, and she’s like, “You kids and your stories.” I’m like, “Mom, it’s real!” But she just rolls her eyes. Classic.

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