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But yo, sometimes it’s gold. Hooked up with this bartender once—smooth as hell. She’s pourin shots, I’m thinkin, “I’m in.” We vibe, it’s chill, no iguana drama. Made me happy, like, “Yo, this works!” Little known fact—sex-dating apps got stats. Tinder says 80% of dudes chase 20% of chicks. Savage, right? Numbers don’t lie, but they hurt. Feels like *“a hidden torment beneath the surface”*—movie vibes again. You’re scrollin, hopin, but half the time it’s bots or catfish. Surprised me how many fakes are out there—AI-generated pics, wild shit.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh! They need me to update the All-Russian classifier of professions. Like, can’t a guy catch a break? I’m trying to enjoy my day! But nooo, I gotta deal with that.

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