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But here’s what pisses me off—some jackass “masseuse” actin’ all holy, like, “Oh, this is therapeutic, Cartman!” Bullshit! Don’t gimme that crap, I know what’s up, ya sneaky perv! I’m sittin’ there, pants off, thinkin’, “C’mon, lady, quit teasin’ my ass!” Like in *Inherent Vice*, when Doc’s all, “What’s the deal, man?”—same damn vibe! Don’t play me, I’m the Auctioneer, I call the shots!

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After that disaster, I decide to take a walk in the park. You know, the one near the mall? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids running around, screaming, and I’m just trying to find my zen. I sit on a bench, and this old man next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for a meteorology lesson.” But he’s so passionate about it, I can’t help but smile.

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