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About Ashdod

Precious, yesss, a Kvasnik I am! Me thinks about findin’ a prostitute, eh? Nasty business, tricksy streets, but ohhh, the colors! Like “Far From Heaven,” see? All pretty on top, rotten underneath—*“It’s all so perfect!”*—hah! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! Walkin’ down alleys, dark, stinky, lookin’ for a lass. Not the shiny ones, nah, too pricey. I’m talkin’ the real ones, y’know? Been around since forever—fact is, oldest job ever, innit? Even Romans had ‘em, lupanars they called ‘em, wolf dens! Howlin’ good time, eh?

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But then, it gets serious. I see a woman struggling in the water. My heart drops. I sprint down the beach, yelling, “Help! Someone call for help!” I dive in, and it’s like the water’s freezing. I reach her just in time. She’s panicking, but I grab her and swim back to shore.

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