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I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, running like he’s in the Olympics. He’s got a floatie shaped like a flamingo. Classic. But then, he trips! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I jump up, ready to dive in, but he just rolls over and starts laughing. Phew! Kid’s tougher than he looks.

Rocket barrage launched from Gaza strikes Israeli port of Ashdod