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About Tel Aviv

So, me, Gollum, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Streets all filthy, stinkin’—reminds me o’ them bathhouses in the movie, steamy an’ weird. Found this one lass, right? She’s all “Come here, precious!”—hah, stole me own line! Made me happy, that did, ‘til she asked fer gold. Gold! Like them greedy spirits hoggin’ the river. Pissed me off, it did—why’s it always ‘bout the shiny stuff?

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Then, around noon, this family sets up right in front of my station. They’ve got a whole picnic going on. I’m talking, like, a full spread. Falafel, hummus, the works. I’m drooling, but I can’t leave my post. So, I’m just watching them, wishing I could join.

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