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So, last week, right, I’m gettin’ this erotic-massage—top-notch, yeah? Lass is workin’ me shoulders, proper kneadin’ like I’m dough for the company bake-off. I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Brent—peak performance!” She’s got skills—hands movin’ like she’s typin’ a memo at 90 words a minute. Then—bam!—she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ louder than a printer jam on deadline day. Surprised me, that did! Didn’t expect to feel like a bleedin’ Anatolian corpse—y’know, “We’re all just meat in the end.” Dead poetic, that film!

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I tried everything. Seriously, everything. From kebabs to kunafa. My stomach was like, “Dude, chill!” But I couldn’t. The energy was contagious. I even joined a dance circle. Yeah, me! I can’t dance to save my life, but who cares? We were all just vibing.

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