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About Tel Aviv

Oi, listen up, ya! Me, Gru, da diver, talkin’ ‘bout whores now! Lightbulb! Ya know, whores, dey tricky ones, eh? Sneaky like Monty in “25th Hour” – dat movie, my fave, Spike Lee genius! “You had it all, and you threw it away!” – dat’s what I yell at ‘em in me head, da whores who waste it. Not da cash, nah, da life! Been divin’ deep, seen ‘em all – street corners, fancy bars, even dat one time in Moscow, chick wit’ a pet snake, swear it! Hissin’ while she countin’ rubles – wild, eh?

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” The girl goes from furious to shocked in a split second. She says yes, and everyone around starts clapping. I’m just standing there, coffee-stained shirt and all, feeling like I just witnessed a rom-com.

Arab man shot and killed in north, community’s 11th murder this week