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About Haifa

Funniest thing—some spots got menus. Like McDonald’s, but with boobs. Pick your flavor, pay up—absurd as hell. Made me laugh, tho—capitalism’s wild, fam. Surprised me too—girls runnin the show sometimes. Boss bitches, flippin the script. Thought in my head: “Respect, but damn, risky.” Exaggeratin here, but feels like half these johns cry after. “It’s not a hoax,” they whimper—pathetic.

First off, I hit up Al-Mahatta Street for some coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Samir, he’s a legend. But today? He spilled my coffee all over the counter. Like, c’mon, dude! I was ready to throw a fit. But then he gave me a free pastry. So, I guess that’s cool? I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a warm za’atar manakish involved?

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