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About Ashdod

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

More about our USA team

Then, I bump into my buddy Yossi. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about his cat, Momo, who apparently thinks she’s a dog now. I’m like, “Dude, that’s just a cat being a cat.” But he’s convinced Momo’s plotting world domination. I can’t even.