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So picture this, I’m an accountant, crunchin numbers all day, bored outta my skull, and I’m thinkin, “I need some excitement, somethin wild!” Not that I’m hirin one, mind ya, but I got curious—how’s it even work? I dig around, and turns out, back in the day, like 1800s, prostitutes in NYC had these lil coded ads in newspapers! “Lost lady seeks gentleman”—yeah, right, lost my ass! *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH! Sneaky lil hustlers, I love it—kinda clever, ya know?

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First off, I woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally betrayed me. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I rushed outta my apartment on HaSharon Street, barely remembering to grab my tools.

14-year-old chokes to death on sushi