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About Tel Aviv

The hands, Clarice… they glide, they press, they *know*. Like Béla Tarr’s long-ass shots, it drags on, builds somethin heavy. “What’s concealed is revealed,” like the movie says—every knot in my back? Gone. Every dirty thought? Amplified, ha! I’m lyin there, half-naked, oil drippin, and it’s funny—ya feel like a king and a perv at the same time. Pro tip: don’t go to them sketchy joints—neon signs screamin “massage”? Bullshit, that’s a trap. Find a real pro, someone who ain’t rushin ya out the door.

Nanny, Babysitter, Kindergarten Teacher’s Assistant

After a long, emotional hour, we stabilize the dog. I’m exhausted but relieved. I step outside, and the sun is setting over the hills. It’s beautiful. I take a moment to breathe. This city, with its crazy streets and even crazier people, it’s home. I love it, even on days like this.

What is the Israel population 2023?