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About Tel Aviv

So, picture this – I’m sat there, sipping me tea, imagining some lass on the corner, all heels and lipstick, flogging her wares like I flog me auction lots. “Going once, going twice – sold to the geezer with the dodgy mustache!” Hilarious, right? But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Gets me proper vexed, it does – blokes treating ‘em like dirt. Makes me wanna scream, “In this family, we do not run!” Straight outta the movie, that. Respect, yeah? They’re hustling, surviving – fair play!

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? It’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” I squeeze in, order a coffee, and spill half of it on my shirt. Awesome. Now I look like I just survived a coffee tsunami.

First rockets of 2025: Alarm sirens activate in “Israel” as clock hits midnight