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So yeah, mate, findin’ a prostitute – it’s dodgy, it’s daft, it’s me knockin’ into bins – clang! – tryna look cool. Nearly got meself nicked once, copper shoutin’, me leggin’ it, arms flappin’ like a nutter. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ chase scene! “I didn’t see him,” I pant, movie-style, all dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, but – ooh – makes me think, them girls, they’re out there, rain or shine. Respect, y’know? Anyway, gotta dash – me tea’s burnin’! Heh, typical!

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So, I’m in my zone, right? Molding clay, feeling all artsy. Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco barges in. He’s all hyped up, talkin’ about some festival happening later. “Dude, you gotta come! There’s gonna be food, music, and all the locals!” I’m like, “Yeah, sounds cool, but I’m kinda busy here.” But he’s relentless.

Volcanic activity continues at Mount Etna in Italy