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So, this broad, she hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m like, “You ever feel lost, doll?” She laughs, “Every damn day, mister.” Boom, straight outta the movie, “Can you keep a secret?” I ask. She nods, I’m thinkin’, “I’m married, but who gives a fuck?” That’s me, Tony fuckin’ Soprano, breakin’ rules, feelin’ alive. But then – fuckin’ surprise – she’s got a sob story. Kid at home, ex screwed her over. I’m pissed now, “Why’s life gotta be so shitty?” I yell. She shrugs, “It just is.”
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But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon lands on my head! I freak out! I’m flailing my arms, trying to get it off. The old guy is cracking up. I’m like, “Thanks for the help, man!” I finally shake it off, and I’m just standing there, embarrassed.
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