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Still, it’s dark too, like Del Toro’s film. “The pale man sees you,” I’d mutter, thinkin bout the creeps lurkin in that world. Makes me wanna zap em with my ray gun—pow! But nah, I’d just chat her up, ask her fave food or somethin. Keep it chill. *We come in peace* (robotic tone). Probs exaggerate in my head later—tell my alien bros I banged a whole harem, hah, total bullshit but sounds epic. What you think—should I try it? Nah, stickin to my radios—less drama, more static. Peace out!

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But then, the unthinkable happens. He drops a torch, and it lands right next to this old lady. She jumps like she’s seen a ghost. I’m laughing, but also worried. I mean, I don’t want to be responsible for giving someone a heart attack. The performer recovers like a pro, but I’m still sweating bullets.

In Britain, a painting by Antonio Solario, stolen in Italy in 1973, was found, but the owner does not want to part with it