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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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Then I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this cute little square, right? I’m just soaking in the vibes when I see this street performer. He’s juggling, and honestly, he’s not half bad. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and knocks his hat off! I’m dying laughing. The guy’s face was priceless. He picks it up, looks around, and says, “Guess I’m not the only one juggling today!” Classic.

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