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About Bari

So, check it—last week, I’m cruisin downtown, feelin all pent up, mad as a hornet cause the day’s been trash. Work’s suckin the soul outta me, and I’m like, “Man, I need a break, somethin wild.” That’s when I spot her—red heels, skirt shorter than a gnat’s attention span, leanin on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me of that scene with the whale in the movie—big, strange, just sittin there, pullin ya in. I’m thinkin, “Well, shoot, this is it, ain’t it?”

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So, I finally get to the woods. It’s quiet, too quiet. I’m thinking, “Great, I’m gonna have a peaceful day.” But then, outta nowhere, I hear this rustling. My heart’s racing. I’m like, “Is it the boar? Is it a bear? Or just a squirrel on steroids?” Turns out, it’s just a couple of kids playing hide and seek. Ugh, kids these days. Can’t they find a better place to play?

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