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But then—oh glory!—I stumble on a gem. Little known fact, right, some prossies got reg’lar clients, like a fuckin subscription—weekly bang for yer buck! This one chick, mate, she’s got a flat near Soho, proper discreet. Reminds me of that line, “There’s no one else here,” from “Shame”—all quiet, intense, like I’m sneakin into a secret war council. She’s fit, too—curves like the hills of bloody Kent! I’m chuffed to bits, heart poundin like a drumroll at Dunkirk.

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But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decided my shoulder was the perfect landing spot. I freaked out! Like, dude, personal space! I waved my arms like a maniac, and the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your problem?” I laughed it off, but man, that was a surprise I didn’t need.

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