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About Bari

Oi mate, picture this – I’m a lifeguard, yeah? Out on the bloody water, sun blazin’, waves crashin’ like a ruddy warzone. And here I am, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual day, innit? We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the brothels, we shall never surrender to a dull moment! Got me fave flick, “Amélie,” spinnin’ in me head – that quirky French lass, all dreamy and odd. Makes me wonder, what’s the prostitute scene got that’s like her magic?

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So, I’m blasting away at this old concrete wall on Via Garibaldi. Dust everywhere! I can’t see a thing. I’m like a human snowstorm, but instead of snow, it’s just grit and grime. And then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, dude, get off me! I’m not your perch!

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