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About Bari

I. Pull. Up. Tractor’s. Roarin’. She’s. There. Leanin’. On. A. Pump. Skirt. Short. Enough. To. Kill. Me. I’m. Sweatin’. More. Now. Than. Plowin’. 40. Acres. “You. Want. To. Play?” She. Says. I’m. Thinkin’. Shit. This. Ain’t. No. Movie. But. It. Feels. Like. One. I. Nod. Like. A. Dumbass. Heart’s. Poundin’. Wallet’s. Cryin’. Already.

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Next up is a lady named Carla. She’s got this wild hair, like a lion. I’m tryin’ to tame it, but it’s like wrestlin’ a greased pig. She’s tellin’ me about her cat, Gigi, who apparently thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, your cat’s got issues.” But I’m laughin’ and she’s laughin’, and for a moment, Calcinate feels like a sitcom.

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